Spot the Spilt Infinitve

(as if that's the least of my grammatical sins)

So today at work was OK, but I had a headache most of the day and I think it was stress related. The funny thing is, I didn't have more to do than I could handle. I think my problem was (is) that I am a little lazy, and my body is actually putting up a fight to deter me from working. I saw myself trying to find ways to get out of certain assignments by diplomatically pointing out the needlessness of them (where applicable) to the person who requested it done (not good work ettiquette, BTW). Partly, in my defense, I am motivated by a need for efficiency. Why waste time and paper photocopying some images if I've already scanned and modified them in the computer and just need the printer to be fixed so I can print them out? I will only have to do the work once if we can just wait a couple hours for IT to fix a technical problem. Incidentally (and this does not exonerate me) we DID fix the printer. But that time I spent redoing stuff really wasn't wasted cause God used it to point out another area where I need to be humble and submissive. I think there is a place for pointing out possible improvements in workflow, etc, but it should be motivated by an interest in bettering the workplace, not just getting out of work.

In other news...We had an interesting visitor this evening. My old high school sweetheart, Matt, is working for InterVarsity and is seeking financial & prayer partners. He came by to talk about what he's doing in ministry and see if we'd be interested in supporting him. A couple of months ago he sent a letter and called about it, but I have tried to avoid actually seeing him--I hoped we could conduct all necessary information sessions over the phone. He really wanted to meet with Kurt and me in person, though, so I finally gave in. I figured that if he was so OK with it, I ought to be, too (right?). My hesistancy came mostly from the fact that we haven't had contact in a long time now, and I wasn't sure what to expect out of the meeting. Sometimes it's hard to be with a person in the present who you knew so well in the past; it can be awkward and difficult to relate "normally" cause you just don't know each other anymore but feel that you do--these situations are especially difficult for me since I'm constantly trying to guess what other people are thinking at any given moment (and in his case I used to know or tried so hard to guess that it drove me nuts. Old habits can die hard). From his arrival to his departure, though, I continually reminded myself that we are different people now. Just try to start over. I am happy to say that tonight I felt God's liberation from the past. Thank you Lord for helping us rise above our fear and see clearly.

We had a great conversation (though he and Kurt did most of the talking) and I look forward to following what God does through him with InterVarsity. Incidentally, if any of you out there feel so led, he is still in need of financial support. Perhaps God would like to use you to further the kingdom at UC Irvine by partnering with Matt...

Perhaps A Plethora of Parentheticals

I thought that I didn't have anything interesting to write about this last weekend, but looking back, I think "what rock were you hiding under?" (to myself--I had no answer) cause I actually had a good weekend and learned all kinds of new things like:

#1) The most deadly ride at Disneyland is the People Mover, and that if you try to take them to court, you have a 4% chance of winning. You can learn these things and more in Mouse Tales: A Behind the Ears Look at Disneyland which I read Friday at my friend's house while babysitting her son. There's a sequel, too, for those of you who just can't get enough dirt on The Mouse. I've felt kinda jaded since reading it, though, so those of you with good memories of Disneyland from childhood beware.

#2) If you eat at McDonald's non-stop for a month, your doctor will think you are crazy and you will put yourself in serious risk of liver failure, kidney stones, and other unexplicable side effects. I have been suspicious for the last few years that McDonald's might be the worst food ever (not yet having tried haggis) and now I'm pretty much sworn off of it for good. Not even a McFlurry for me. (I'll delude myself and go to Foster's Freeze or DQ). For those of you who wish to also say goodbye for good to the Golden Arches, check out the movie documentary Super Size Me. It will probably also make you think twice about eating at any establishment with a Drive Thru (spelling counts). I enjoyed the film, much to my surprise.

#3) If you are having an allergy attack, and you only have drowsy-causing allergy pills, you can stay awake and be the (non-sniffly) life of the party by taking your pills with two Cokes.

#4) You should not put off till Monday what you can do on Friday when the bank is still open cause you just might get called in to work on Monday and not get to go to the bank except on your lunchbreak which will force you to eat in the car on the way and get back just in time to get back to work, cause you just HAVE to have your bank twenty minutes away and not have checking with your account, don't you? Is that extra 2% interest REALLY worth it? IS it?
(:c)
#5) Eventually, work will stop putting you off and call you in for real. And if you give it a chance, you just might discover that working isn't so bad and that there are some really great people at your office (or studio)--even new bosses--that make being there 8 hrs (minus one driving to the bank and back) a pretty good experience.
:)
#6) Eventually, the kids you teach sunday school to will grow up and you won't be able to teach them anymore. You will feel sad to say goodbye, but happy that they still come up to you after church and give you a hug and want to tell you about the funny thing they saw on TV or show you some pictures they drew. And you will remain cool to them as long as you make an effort to show you care.

#7) Every day is a blog-worthy day. Don't save it all for a clever catch up list.

September 22

One more reason its great not to be working: I can actually help friends out. I spent the day cleaning and moving stuff into my friends, the Barnts', new home. I'm excited for them, and it was cool to share in the fun of putting a new home together.

It's finally, at moments, starting to feel like Fall. I love this time of year. From October to Dec 24th I'm nearly always in a good mood--especially if it's a crisp blustery day. Can't wait to break out my sweaters and scarves and Christmas music. Mom and I are planning to go all out making decorations for the house (newly remodeled, inspired by the Arts and Crafts movement). We've already bought the ingredients for a Fall wreath*. I normally don't do the silk-plant thing, but after last year's wreath of leaves from our lawn barely survived Thanksgiving, I'm thinking I'd like the work to pay off for a few years rather than a few days. Hopefully we'll also make little chocolate turkeys for Thanksgiving.** We used to do it when I was little and I'd like to revive the tradition.

*It'll kind of look like this but with less berries and more leaves, and some sunflowers thrown in.

**this linked recipe gives an idea of what they're like, but ours have a candy corn head (no neck) and a chocolate-star tail instead of almond. Ours are way cuter.

September 21

Welcome to my humble corner of cyber-space. I've thought about joining the legions of distinguished (and undistinguished) bloggers for awhile, but it took the moving away of some very good friends to finally motivate me to action.

I must confess that I was rather intimidated by the BlogSpot's little "guided tour". They mention all of these journalists and politicians using the BlogSpot as a forum to share their ideas. I have nothing important or spectacular to say. If you've stumbled upon this site looking for genius, or even good laughs, go back to Google.

For those of you still with me (thanks), here's a little run down of my day and the recent troubling weeks...

My time in Alaska (highlights email still in the works, for those of you waiting) made me think a lot about life and God and what I really want and what He may or may not want of me. I used to think that God had a specific plan for my life: who to marry, where to live, what career to pursue, what to eat, and that if I could discover what that will was, then I could follow it and be assured of success. All hard things I encountered were due to my failings or lack of faith. This theology was a crutch for my decision-paralysis. I couldn't even decide what to make for dinner, and the thought of making "big" decisions was truly stressful and fightening to me.

Out in the wilderness, I was confronted with many choices, mostly mundane, but not unimportant: where to camp, what channel on the river to take, when to eat as much as I wanted and when to hold back (just in case). If I followed my theology to its practical conclusions, I'd have to discover God's "will" for all of those things. Somehow, out there, it began to feel ridiculous. Isn't God bigger than the sum of our daily choices? Does making a "wrong" choice somehow put me on a path to destruction and take me out of His "will"? I did make some bad decisions (one of which landed Kurt and I square in the middle of some rapids stuck on a boulder), but discovered that God was with me through them, and was able to redeem any situation.

God wants us to learn to walk, which includes learning to recover after running into obstacles.

God's will, I have begun to realize through reading Scripture, is to seek and save the lost. He wants to live and work through me to accomplish that end. He does not have a specific plan for MY life. A good friend helped me see what a self-centered way of thinking that is. I am not here to be happy, successful, and fulfill my dreams. I am here to know and serve Him, wherever He places me, to be a tool in His hands for His purposes. Sometimes I will be happy and successful, and sometimes quite the opposite. What matters is having a heart utterly submitted to His workings in and through me--THAT is His will for my life. We are presented with opportunities for work, love, etc., but they are not a matter of obedience to His will.

SO that brings you up to speed on my thinking. NOW here's the emotional turmoil I've been fighting: what now? I haven't started back to work yet (Toonacious Entertainment), and they keep calling me and saying they're not ready for me to start yet. Aside from delaying some much-needed income, it is making me feel more and more distant from a company that has been like family to me. While I was gone, the studio grew and changed a good deal, and I feel like I've been left behind. It's tempting to think I ought to move on. But now that I write about it, I think that would be foolish. Where do I expect to get a job that I'll love more or coworkers & bosses that are better to work with? And perhaps I'll find when I return to work that things have not changed so much as the reorganized office space suggests. Funny how a paragraph of Blog cleared up a few days' confusion.

But I can't help thinking about other ideas I have. I love being able to really take care of my home--keep it clean and orderly, make dinner each night and lunch for Kurt to take to work. I can stay on top of laundry and even put pictures into photo albums (gasp). I wish we could afford for me to play house, but I think I need to work as soon as I can. *oh well* And I'd love to write and illustrate children's books, but assuming I could even get one published it would be along time before it ever turned into income--or so I've been told. I'll just keep those ideas on the shelf till God opens a door.

I spent some time at the Zoo drawing today. I really enjoy that and I should go more often. I spent quite awhile drawing two Mouse Deer and a Burrowing Owl. Think I'll try and go again this week.

More tomorrow...